I picked this up from LadyShanny and Blogher and decided to give it a try. Until I did this, I didn’t realize how resentful and angry I was at the physical me. Hopefully, now that I got it out and examined it, I can get rid of it.
A Letter To My Body
Here we are after spending a half a century together, and I figure I know you pretty well. We’ve pretty much come full circle, the baby with her belly hanging out over her diaper, the little girl who was taller than almost everyone in her class, the blossoming young woman who quickly turned into “full figured”, and the older woman who has once again turned into a body with her belly hanging over her underwear. You’ve taken me from being a kid to having 3, and I must say we got along pretty well thru all of them. We’ve gone thru menopause together and it was easy. No matter what I’ve done to you, you have always bounced back and been strong and reliable.
I would love to say I don’t blame you for the shape I’m in now, but to a certain extent, I do. In fact, to be totally honest, I’ve been angry with you since I was 12. We had two parents. Mom, who fought being overweight all her life, and Dad, who was skinny as a rail all his life, right into middle age. You took on all of Dad’s mannerisms, gave me his face, but took on Mom’s fat cells. I have her shape and took on her lifetime of fighting my weight. I do resent you to a certain extent. I resent fighting with you about what I eat all my life. You’ve never given me a chance to relax. It’s always been a battle.
Now that we’re older, things haven’t changed much. I do realize as we’ve gotten older, you are more in need than ever before of the proper fuel for you to carry me the rest of the way. I don’t want to suffer and be limited in my mobility as the days and years pass, and I realize that you can turn on me at any time. You have won the war. Now the tables have turned and I shall be your servant. I am heeding your warnings, the stiffness in the joints, the pain in my hips when I lay too long on my side. My heart says I want to be around to see my youngest child thru life and see my Grandchildren graduate from high school. The Bible says you are a temple. I have never quite figured that and have not exactly brought “presents” in thru your door, but I am starting to see that now. I shall look at you thru new eyes with a new appreciation for what you can do. Hopefully, from this point forward you can accept my apologies and we will get along much better in the future. As the old joke goes, “if I would have known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of you”.
Filed under: aging, beauty, confessions, emotional eating, excuses, exercise, fat, food, health, losing weight, post-menapausal, weight, weight loss after 40, weight loss in older women, weight loss journal, writing | Tagged: anger, body image, food, genetics, resentments, thoughts, weight |
Growing Older, Sexier, and Skinnier 
Thank you for sharing this very personal letter. I think a lot of us have struggled with our self-image, our bodies seeming to be the enemy. The very fact that you want to live in a harmonious, healthful way, though, is a great step. You should be very proud of yourself!
c
Remember, the long run is what counts. Keep steadily moving towards your goal and you will succeed.
Thank you writinggb for taking the time to read. It’s funny sometimes the way this stuff comes to the surface. Thanks for the way you are always encouraging. I appreciate it!
Hi. I linked to you through Blogher. I’m a few people up from you in the letters to my body project. I’ve been blogging about my weigh loss journey for over 2 years and you might enjoy my blog for stories of how I came into right relationship with my body. I will be 48 in June and am totally in love with and crushed out on my body. It’s been a long, hard road of dealing with body hatred and self criticism and one of the things I learned along this journey is that one of the reasons I was fat was because my body was protecting herself from my mean mean head. Once I created a “partnership” between my head and my body, everything changed.
Also: I come from sturdy genes and my brother said it so well many years ago, “Mad, when we don’t exercise, we get fat,” and wasn’t that the truth. So, I exercise and move every day. Four years ago I was a sedentary, 195 lb person and I had many aches and pains and a body voice that was whiney and complainy all the time.
Now I have a body voice that is like a labrador retriever, “Let’s go run! Throw the ball!” (You get the drift.) It is the biggest accomplishment of my life, coming into my body. Yes, I have aches and pains, but they are the aches and pains of a fit, healthy body. I never believed I could have this.
It started with Weight Watchers online over 4 years ago and continues now with my great online community on the Weight Watchers site (the vegetarian message board) and I’m even writing a book about my journey.
You can do whatever you set your sacred will to. If you want a happy, healthy mobile body into your older years, you can do it. You just have to prioritize it and put your health first, like you are saving your own life.
Good luck on your journey,
Maddy
Thank you for the encouragement Maddy. I like the way you describe the difference in your body between now and then. Will look for you on Sparkpeople and blogher.
[…] Lady Beams is amazed at how reliable her body is: Here we are after spending a half a century together, and I figure I know you pretty well. We’ve pretty much come full circle, the baby with her belly hanging out over her diaper, the little girl who was taller than almost everyone in her class, the blossoming young woman who quickly turned into “full figured”, and the older woman who has once again turned into a body with her belly hanging over her underwear. You’ve taken me from being a kid to having 3, and I must say we got along pretty well thru all of them. We’ve gone thru menopause together and it was easy. No matter what I’ve done to you, you have always bounced back and been strong and reliable. […]