Why? Why do we sabotage our own efforts? What are we really saying to ourselves? What are we hiding behind being over weight?
My mother was heavy all my life. I can remember it tormenting her when I was a child. She used to take me with her on occasion to a doctor she drove to 30 miles away to get diet pills. (This was prior to my own appreciation for “bennies”, “crosstops”, “whites”). She drank what then were those God-awful shakes twice a day for meals and then ate a “reasonable” dinner. She did lose quite a bit of weight, until they took her off of the pills and she actually began eating again.
As I grew up I was finding my own diets to follow. Once I reached “womanhood” I not only “blossomed” I was the whole darn bush! At 16 and 175lbs. I discovered WeightWatchers. At that time I couldn’t afford the meetings, but I bought the first ever book and followed it religiously. It worked great, although a lot of their recipes were quite strange and I lost 38 lbs. in 6 weeks. I actually kept that weight off for quite awhile.
Later on when in my early 20’s my mother had come to live with me and we were on WeightWatchers once again. My mother had previously tried TOPS (can’t remember what it stands for) and a couple of other diets that were the latest and greatest for their time. It was during this inbetween time that I noticed every time my mother found something that actually was working for her, she would quit. It was so blatant, that I finally came out and asked her why she complained about her weight and then quit any thing that helped her lose some of it? Now years later I find myself doing the same thing.
For me one of the first things to wane is motivation. I start out all gang-ho how this time I’m going to stick with it, how I hate the extra weight and how I hate the way I feel carrying it around. I hate it that I can’t fit into my clothes and I hate both my chins. LOL. So why do I not start my day reading the stuff that motivates me to stick to what I’m doing instead of ditching all that stuff completely?
I belong to SparkPeople which is a free weight loss site that is just terrific with the advice, the articles, the tools, the friendships. Very motivating. The last two days were the first time I’ve read a couple of the emails and visited the site in quite awhile. I belong to another free site that was put up by my own “parent” company called “My Best Site”. It’s also very encouraging and enlightening. I haven’t been on that site in I don’t know how long.
Last but not least is the WeightWatchers site itself. Over the last couple of months I’ve probably talked to at least 3 people who have lost weight strictly by joining the site and taking advantage of everything they have to offer there. No meetings. No nothing else, and they’ve lost a lot! Here I am one of the biggest WeightWatchers advocates I know and I haven’t visited that site in months.
Am I just old enough now that I figure I can eat what I want no matter what it does to my body? (My mother uses the “age card” excuse for a lot of what she does). I can’t say I have the strongest willpower but is it a matter of willpower or a matter of not doing what works?
I have noticed that my parenting skills were quite lacking when it came to teaching my youngest kid some actual “life skills”. I will be teaching him about goal setting over the next couple of days. I think while doing that I will write down a daily schedule for myself that starts my day with actively participating in the sites I mentioned above instead of reading whatever (usually and often repeated) jokes that are sitting in my email.
Filed under: aging, confessions, excuses, fat, food, goal setting, health, losing weight, weight loss, weight loss in older women, weight loss journal, Weight Watchers | Tagged: aging, confessions, diet, food, health, healthy eating, mental health, weight loss, weightwatchers |