It looks like we’re in for a long, hot summer. For the last few years we’ve had a week of hot weather sometime in May, and then it’s usually just “nice” until the middle to end of June. This year the hot weather started early and stayed. If you’re anything like me, this is the time you really wish you had stuck to all those weightloss goals you set earlier in the year. Those summer fashions and a bathing suit doesn’t look nearly so good hanging off a body that’s almost 200lbs. as it did when I was 145. I also don’t take the heat as well. Being heavier I guess I carry my own internal furnace with me. I’m always surprised when a larger person gets cold easily, as this usually isn’t the norm. Then I look at their lifestyle, and like me they’re pretty sedentary so circulation isn’t all that good. Like I tell my mother “If you’d get up and do something, you wouldn’t be so cold.”

Along with the summer heat comes all the good-for-us food. The berries are in season. The melons are coming in. I love it and have gotten really good at reaching for healthier snacks. (Smashed strawberries over Fatfree ice cream or frozen yogurt and a small slice of angelfood cake is pure heaven and doesn’t set the diet into a tailspin). I add fresh fruit to my yogurt and add more fiber. It’s all good! Unfortunately, it’s also time when you don’t want to cook because of the heat, and potato salad and macaroni salads make the best side dishes.

I am not going to give you a bunch of tips here on how to avoid those things, because I can’t. What I can do is give you a couple of tips to make eating them not so bad.

1) If you find any you like in the supermarkets you can buy just what you need for a meal and then you don’t have a bunch left over that you feel you have to eat. Personally I do this on occasion but I like to have control over my ingredients. When I make it at home not only do I like it better, but I use less fattening ingredients to make it.

Which brings me to tip #2.

I don’t care for the taste of light mayo. All I can taste is the vinegar. Everyone talks about Best Foods or Hellman’s being the best tasting Mayo, but when it comes to the light stuff I have to go with Kraft. What I do is mix half light mayo and half regular mayo in my salads. While they’re still definitely not fatfree, it does shave off quite a few calories and fat grams. If you scramble eggbeaters instead of using real egg, you can shave off even more.

What I’m truly looking for is a “pasta” diet. I’m afraid it wouldn’t get promoted very much as I can already see how unhealthy it would be. The diet would consist of all things pasta, and fruits and veggies, and a guarantee that even with alfredo sauce, I could still lose weight.LOL.

I was going to write about something else today, but came across this in my inbox. I don’t know who wrote it, I wish I did. I would gladly give her credit for expressing so well how I feel.

When I was a child in the 1960s the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job.

Today’s stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.

The mature woman has a choice-she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney’s Fantasia or she can wander around every run of the mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room.

The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks as any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my boobs had disappeared!

Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, ‘Oh, there you are,’ she said, admiring the bathing suit.

I replied that I wasn’t so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an over sized napkin in a serving ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan’s Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning.

I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fit…a two-piece affair with a shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top.

It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured. When I got home, I found a label which read — ‘Material might become transparent in water.’

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I’m there too I’ll be the one in cut off jeans and a t-shirt!

Today’s post is not about me and my weight loss (or lack there of), but of someone who is working diligently at losing weight and making a difference at the same time. His name is Ben. He’s lost 88 lbs. since he started his website. He’s actually lost over 100 since he began his journey. This is truly awe inspiring. Please just take a couple minutes to look at his site and see how we can all make a difference when you have the desire and a great idea.

http://www.donatemyweight.com

Have a blessed weekend.

The health article that caught my attention today was from issue 2658 of New Scientist magazine, 29 May 2008, page 12. It was all about how “thoughts of death make us eat cookies.” I’m serious. There is a study about how people who wrote essays on death vs. dentists ate more cookies and had lower self-esteem. “The authors believe people with low self-esteem use consuming as a way of subconsciously escaping self-awareness, which is heightened by thoughts of dying.”

I found this fascinating in the way that I always thought thoughts of dying would help you control your eating and make you exercise. You want to have a healthier lifestyle. You want to live longer. Instead, they are saying that eating is a possible mechanism for dealing with “death anxiety”.

I would say that my self-esteem probably isn’t what it should be, especially since I’m home so much more now and socialize so much less. Also the fact that I have gained a lot of weight hasn’t exactly lifted my self-esteem to new heights. I also worry a lot about dying (before I’m ready) because I know I don’t lead a healthy lifestyle. It seems to me, the fear of dying too soon would cause you to quit eating cookies instead of making you eat worse.

Maybe it’s time for yet another “paradigm shift”!

At our house 3-day weekends are cause for BBQ’s and/or picnics. When my sister and I were kids, it was usually a day of some big picnic for some organization my folks belonged to. When my sister and I got out on our own and had kids, we used to get Ma and all get together at the local park.  Then for the last  almost 10 yrs. I owned a bar, so we would throw a big bbq and potluck for everybody. Always a ton of fattening food, booze, and fun.

The kids are grown now. I’ve closed the bar, and I rarely see my sister. Today I miss the chaos, the fun, the people. It’s going to be a much quieter celebration of those who died for our freedom. In away, it almost seems appropriate with our troops still at war and given the reason for the day.

I have since made choices I wouldn’t have made back then. Today I decided to have eggs at home vs. a “Macho Combo Burrito” (25pts.) at Del Taco. I have turned in the burgers (80/20) and potato salad for lean steak and baked potato. This way I won’t be eating potato salad, which of course goes with macaroni salad, for days after the bbq is over. Instead of snacking on chips, we’ll be snacking on fresh veggies and strawberries. While it’s hard sometimes to forget the traditions of the past, many times the new traditions are just as delicious, and without the guilt! LOL

I get  a lot of health newsletters. Every thing from the Mayo Clinic to Health Alerts by email to health newsletters for women, etc. One of the latest things I’ve seen is a doctor suggests Resveritrol and Soy as the magic combination to aid in weight loss.

Resveritrol is like a super antioxidant. If you don’t know what antioxidants are, they are the super nutrients that help fight the toxins that enter your body (free radicals) and destroy your cells. This is a really simplistic definition, as I am no doctor. Given my bad habits, I am into anything that will fight the bad guys in my body, but supposedly according to this doctor, when you go heavy in antioxidants, you go “light” on weight. Sounds good to me, so I talked to the lady at my health food store, and bought a bottle (second bottle 50% off. LOL.).

I have a problem with the “soy” part of this “prescription”. I am not a big advocate of soy to start with and I hate tofu. I have read a lot about studies showing if you have cancer cells in your body, soy may help them grow. I don’t know if I have anything like that in my body, but I’m old enough and it’s common enough, I’m not willing to take a chance.

We’re all so willing to try anything to help us lose weight, sometimes to the expense of our own health (fedra, etc). It’s okay to use supplements that enhance our health, diet and fitness, but make sure you know what you are taking, and from whom. Not all vitamins and supplements are equal, just like not every diet plan and fitness plan is perfect for you, me, Tom, Dick and Harry.

Nothing makes a fat girl say “shoulda, woulda, coulda” like really hot weather.

I “shoulda” stuck to eating right and exercising.

I “woulda” been small enough to fit into some bitchin’ summer clothes.

I “coulda” been there by now.

I had pretty much forgotten how much I hate hot (90 to 100 degrees) weather when I’m overweight. I’ve gotten old enough that I tend to run on the “cooler” side most of the time, so the hot weather when I’m thinner, doesn’t seem so bad. This year I remembered when the temps reached 102, why I usually diet in the fall or winter to be thinner by spring and summer.

One thing the hot weather has done for me is make my attraction to the fruits and vegetables in season much stronger. It must be working, because I’ve actually lost about 5 lbs. in the last week or so. Cookies, etc. just don’t have the same appeal when I’m sweating to death, looking for a way to cool off.  So it’s obviously not due to being post-menopausal, but my crummy eating habits that are keeping me fat. Hate facing that one! LOL

The strawberries have been just beautiful by me this year. They’re huge and so sweet and juicy. Usually at least one store by me (I’m lucky enough to have about 5 different grocery stores all in a circle close to where I live) has a 4lb. clamshell on sale at a really reasonable price. The blueberries not such a great bargain, but I love them in my yogurt and even tho the containers are small, I can still usually find them on sale. I bought a beautiful pineapple the other day, and I’ll probably cut that up for snacking today. To me, the can will never have anything on fresh when it comes to pineapple. When I went to Hawaii, my late husband couldn’t sit me at the bar next to a waitress station because I couldn’t keep my hands out of the pineapple. LOL.

The truly great thing about all this is that it is such a healthy way to eat. I’ve always said “if I truly ate everything they want you to eat when you’re on WeightWatchers, I would never be able to snack on anything else!”

Thank goodness for the hot weather to reteach me how to eat right. I’m drinking a lot more water also, of course, which I’m sure has helped with dropping a little of this excess weight. See, you just never know where help is going to come from. LOL 

is now only 2 months away vs. 10 months like it was when I first started this blog. Evidently my reason wasn’t motivation enough. I just got the dates yesterday for the reunion and here I am, the same size if not a pound or two more than I was 8mos. ago. So now I will be walking etc. like crazy, cussing myself out for not getting serious sooner, and still stuffing something into my face that probably doesn’t belong there! No matter what I do, I still am no magician with the magic formula.

I have known about this for a yr. I actually thought it was in April. Thank God it wasn’t! But why have I been so self-sabbotoging? Or why I haven’t I been stronger? Or if my health and this reunion aren’t important enough, what in the hell would be?

I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. I better do myself a little sole searching and find out what’s going on in there. Looking over past posts, I thought I had the answer a few times. NOT. Guess again. I know when I truly make up my mind I can do it, so why not now? Am I using it as a crutch while I’m working on my new life? I know I should be doing better than ever now that my schedule, etc. is completely in my hands. Instead I am so stressed and focusing on the new business, I’m not getting anything else done, including stuff with deadlines. Have I just become self-destructive to a certain point? I mean, I’m not going to jump the bridge or anything, but something definitely isn’t right.

Any insights would be appreciated. LOL. My weight is actually a symbol I think of all the kaos in my life right now. One step at a time I guess. It just would be good if I would actually take the steps.

Since I started this da** blog back in Sept. with so much motivation and hope for a skinnier future, I have started and started over more dieting and exercising, etc. and I just have not been good about keeping up with any of it. And now I haven’t even been good about posting here, because I haven’t been good enough doing the other stuff that I have anything worth posting. I have not been utilizing WeightWatchers nearly enough, even tho I pay for meetings and online every month. I find the website motivating which is even more reason why I should visit more often. I also love this website called SparkPeople. It too is very motivating in combination with WeightWatchers and is also an excellent tool. It’s Spring now, and I want to do more things and be outside more. By now I should have reached my goal or been darn close. So as of today…

1. I am journaling EVERYTHING I put in my mouth (which in itself ticks me off because it keeps me honest)
2. I will quit stressing over the fact that I’m not doing an exercise routine, but will make myself do something physical every day. Today I am going to be pulling weeds etc. out in the yard. I haven’t gardened for years.
3. Every morning I will start out with the message boards at WW and Sparkpeople to help set me up for the day.

That seems easy enough and enough steps for now. I am taking a page from LadyShanny’s book and going to start with photo’s for my journey. I also have one photo that I will post to keep my frightfully aware of where I am headed, and what I don’t want to look like when I go to the high school reunion in July.

I received this in an email titled “Bacon Grease Will Make Your Feet Look Small” While I admit they all seem to have self-pride, I don’t want to be there.

Wasn’t the whole reason for the Boston Tea Party to get rid of taxes? Sorry, I just couldn’t help thinking that the whole time I’m trying to beat the clock yesterday. Talk about added stress. Thank goodness I only mindlessly munch when I’m bored, because usually when I’m stressed I don’t have time to eat. LOL.

I have to say when it comes to exercise and losing weight, one of my pet peeves is people who say “muscle weighs more than fat”. My answer to that is “a pound, is a pound, is a pound”, but the other day I was reading an article that had a very good analogy in it. It said that “a pound of feathers could fill a bathtub, but a pound of lead you could hold in the palm of your hand.” I thought that was an excellent visualization on the difference between a pound of fat and a pound of muscle. Obviously I will not ever be small enough to fit in someone’s hand, but I am working on being easier to hold than a bathtub of feathers.